This is the suffering portion of my website. Emo passing thoughts.
Maybe if I eat food, drink water, and go to sleep I'll feel better.
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I woke up in the middle of the night in pain thinking I was having a heart attack. I decided to take an ibuprofen and go back to sleep. I feel awful. Hopefully I don't die.
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The grim reaper wants to reap me up
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Just paid a $700 medical bill. Simutaneously felt a pang of pain/agony both physical and mental
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I am tired of crying in H mart. Can my mom just be nice to me.
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I messed up my shoulder playing guitar for 40 minutes yesterday.
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Towards the end, my dad was really religious. I never knew what the name of our religion was. It was mostly just his thing. I was tasked with burning incense. Sometimes I think if I had religion in my life, that would help me not be so depressed. I joke that I want to join a cult. I don't think it's in the cards for me right now. Maybe like my dad, my body will sense when the end is near and go god / buddha / allah mode.
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I'm going bald bro
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Never being horny ever again < living with debilitating anxiety and depression
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I don't smoke anymore and I don't think I ever will again. It was really easy to quit. I think what really got me hooked was that I was taking deep breaths. I think I was addicted to breathing. In my most stressful moments, I would pretend to smoke. I only recently realized that I was simply taking deep breaths.
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The train was packed when I was commuting home on Tuesday. I was standing next to a tiny, older Asian woman. We were both clinging to the same pole. She said something I didn’t hear. I took my earbud out, “sorry?” She went “you okay?” in broken English and I said I was fine thank you. The next stop let out enough people for folks to disperse a little. I waddled a few steps away, turned to face the closed door of the train car, and started tearing up. What would she have done if I said I wasn’t okay? It was so packed and she was standing too. I had a negative interaction with my mom last weekend. The act of an older Asian woman speaking to me in a gentle voice concerned about my well-being just triggered something so raw in me I cannot explain. I’m not well bro.